{mosimage}A True DIVA
Recently, I had the great pleasure of meeting and interviewing Michelle McKinney Hammond in my home town, Chicago. Some of you may know her as the relationship expert for the single soul. But while there is no denying Michelle has a great insight and advice for the single woman, Michelle has wisdom that reaches the married and the unmarried, the young and old. If you are breathing, she has a word that will lift and exhort you. She is a tell-it-like it is person. One thing for sure, Michelle is vivacious, has an incredible zest for life and for touching the lives of others.
I was thrilled to finally meet Michelle, having read several of her books. She’s written What to do Until Love Finds You, Secrets of an Irresistible Woman, Ending the Search for Mr. Right, The Unspoken rules of Love, to name a few. Recently, she has added a novel to her list, The Last 10 Percent.
I met Michelle in the lobby of her Chicago home. Michelle was waiting with her newest addition to the family, her dog Milan. Michelle, after listening to the Lord to get a dog, attributes her being grounded to her baby Milan. We could actually write a whole article about Milan, as Michelle says, she truly does have a ministry of her own.
Because of her very compressed schedule, our interview took place in the car on our way to the studio where together with her two co-hosts, she tapes Aspiring Women. Without wasting too much time, my first question was concerning a topic that many of my single friends rehearse. While her answers may not be all you want to hear, there is no denying she is a gifted woman of God.
AZ What do you say to women over 40 and still single?
MHH Enjoy your life! I’m a pragmatist. Here’s my thing, I’ve gotten into discussions with my mentor and we do not agree. We are all not getting married, and I believe I have scripture to back that up. It says (in the Bible) in the last days seven women will cling to one man and say, just give me your name and I will buy my own bread. So, to lie to my sisters and say we are all getting married, just believe God, I’m not going to do it.
AZ A lot if women are going to go, “Yikes!”
MHH That’s the truth of the matter, but here is another truth, God is able to give you a full and victorious life without a man. So does that mean you don’t need a man, that’s not what I’m saying because I don’t like it when women say, “I don’t need a man.” God created us to need one another, so obviously we do. But they might fit into another role in your life that blesses you just as much. Sure it’s probably not His perfect will that so many women be single, but it is the state of the world. We live in a world that is filled with sin and it rains on the just and the unjust. We are not all exempt from the trouble that that brings. But we, with special grace that He gives us to be able to be bear up under that, should not just survive, but actually thrive and flourish.
In the book of Jonah, Jonah said, as he sat brooding about his circumstances in the belly of the fish, “Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.” I believe for a lot of women, marriage is an idol. So they forfeit the present grace of God to enjoy their lives and live it to the fullest. Because they can’t even see the present blessing, they focus on the one tree in the garden they can’t have.
I am a living witness that you can have a fabulous life without being married. At one point in time I would have thought to be the last one woman on the face of the earth that would even say this because I was a very miserable single. So I have grown acquainted with how miserable that can feel when you live, dwell and embrace it.
AZ So how do you encourage women to get past this?
MHH Snap out of it. The first purpose you were put here was not for marriage. When you die no one is going to discuss your marital status. They are going to discuss the contributions you made to the people around you and how you affected their lives. So, if you were known for looking for a man all your life, you’ll be like Orpah and fade into oblivion and they’ll never hear from you again. As you know, Ruth went on to serve her mother-in-law and ended up with a rich husband and a baby. I believe when we focus on purpose and living victoriously to make God look good, we become fruitful in our lives whether we end up with a mate or not.
AZ But the Bible says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.”
MHH Yes, but the numbers bear out that there are more available women than men and for the few that find a wife, yes, they found a good thing, but you need the more men looking for more wives and the numbers are not there.
AZ So, Michelle are you saying to women that if you are believing God for a mate, don’t?
MHH No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying just be open to alternate ways that God can fill your life. Don’t insist on what you want, be open to what God wants.
AZ How would you feel if you were not to get married?
MHH At this point if I didn’t get married, I would be fine, I’d be perfectly fine. And I have a lot men in my life. I have great fabulous men in my life. So I don’t have that man void. I’m in a point in my life that I made so many bad choices originally that I’m not interested in going there again.
AZ Do you have a boyfriend?
MHH No. I have friends and checking folks out (she laughs).
{mosimage} Michelle advised and clearly focused during our interview on women pursuing their purpose. She says, “Celebrate yourself and get in the habit of being joyful.” She continued, “We were all created with a purpose but if you think your purpose is not significant enough it could go by the wayside.” While Michelle believes there is a shortage of men, she also believes and understands that there is an individual plan for each and every one of us. So, if you desire to be married and are pursuing your God-given dreams, stand firm and believe that your desires will be granted.
Michelle also went on to say that we as women should celebrate who we are as individual women. One way Michelle has inspired women to do so is through her singles conference A Singles Diva Weekend Getaway.
The conference, scheduled for August, promises to expose the hidden areas that keep you bound. You will feel lighter and with a renewed sense of who you are in Christ. But some may be asking, “What is a Diva? It stands for Divine Inspiration for Victorious Attitude. Divas have received a bad name in the past. A real diva is not demanding, self centered or controlling,” Michelle said. “She has released her emotional baggage and is a woman who knows that life is not about her, but rather the contribution she makes to others around her and the legacy she will leave behind.”
The Singles Diva Weekend Getaway begins with A Diva’s Ultimate Book Club Event around Michelle’s newest book and first fiction venture, The Last Ten Percent, a novel about four women journeying through life, friendships and love in the face of dwindling possibilities. The Friday night What’s Your Story? Pajama Party takes each woman on a journey into her own defining moments and how they’ve shaped them into the women she’s become today. Saturday is a full-day of personal development seminars based on Michelle’s bestselling book, The Diva Principle, women will: get their heads together with an inspirational attitude adjustment, get their hearts together to experience thriving relationships and get their acts together so they can achieve true inspired balance in their lives. You don’t want to miss this event. It will prepare you for what’s next in your life.
{mosimage} A true Diva is a woman who knows that life is not about her, but rather the contribution she makes to others around her and the legacy she will leave behind.” from The Diva Principle, 2004.
Michelle has written 25 books. She is a co-host of the nationally syndicated Emmy-nominated TV talk show Aspiring Women, and Michelle has also been interviewed on a myriad of national radio and television programs including Politically Incorrect, The Other Half hosted by Dick Clark, The 700 Club and Black Entertainment Television’s (BET) Oh Drama. She also has been featured on the covers of Today’s Christian Woman, Christian Single and The Plain Truth.
Michelle is creating a new model for conferences, opening the floor for more hands-on audience participation with extensive question/answer opportunities so women can personally explore information directly relevant to their lives.
August 4-5, 2006
Hyatt Regency O’Hare
Rosemont, Illinois
Diva Power Weekend
January 12-14, 2007
Chicago, Illinois