{mosimage}Princess, Martyr, Servant

By Mary Tomlinson

I am moving through different spiritual seasons of my life from Princess to Martyr to Servant (although to be honest, sometimes I make u-turns…).

The Princess Stage

In the Princess stage, I want everything in my life to be wonderful. I expect peace and harmony in all my relationships, others act correctly and kindly, having enough money in the bank to pay all the bills plus a comfortable savings account, finding the perfect parking space at the Mall, good grades from my children and my husband to be always attentive (noticing the new eye shadow I just bought) – basically where all is right in my “kingdom”.

I praise God for the blessings and go running to God to ask Him to “fix” things that are not going just quite right. I stand on the promises of God knowing that He would not want me to suffer so I ask Him to change my world to make things more comfortable and “fix” the people who are not acting right towards me. I pray that He will release me from my bondages of poor health, cruel (or at least unreasonable) bosses, the lack of being appreciated by my husband or children – or anything that is causing my kingdom not to be perfect.

I must admit, that when things are not right in the kingdom, I am not always a happy princess – don’t tell anybody, but I have been known to be a little impatient when the Lord does not immediately fix my problems or critical of those who are not cooperating with the plan. My status of princess means that all should be right all the time – EVERY day should be sunny and comfortable – things like flat tires, computer viruses or unexpected tax bills shouldn’t happen to ME – I belong to the Lord and He needs to supply all my needs according to Philippians 4:19

I can’t really relate to the Paul in the scriptures when he talks about being content in all things — I CAN be content when circumstances are pleasant, but certainly the unpleasant ones are not meant to last very long – right Lord???

The Martyr Stage

2005 was a difficult year – it seemed as though nothing went right – finances were tight, house repairs forced us into debt and the death of a friend were on a growing list of difficult challenges. I stomped my feet and pouted as a princess but nothing seemed to move the God of the universe so I found my self progressing into the martyr stage.

The martyr stage found me crying out and struggling for meaning to the difficulties and answers for the pain. Was I disobedient? Did I miss something God wanted me to do? What was I supposed to be learning from this (and how could I accelerate the learning to get out of this as soon as possible?) My seemingly unanswered prayers made me search the scriptures and I could relate to Job and Joseph and the crying out of David to God in the Psalms.

I couldn’t really praise God for the trails, but determined to endure them – enduring however results in a gray face, low spirit, a serious disposition, and a complete lack of joy. “Whatever the reason for this Lord, I will endure.” – reminds me of the Disney character Eyore. I determined that it was more holy to stuff the pain inside and carry the burden around with a hollow smile and heavy heart – I certainly wasn’t much fun to be around.

But as the camel with one too many straws, it didn’t take much to set off bitterness and harshness if someone said or did something that bothered me – I was walking around with land mines in my heart and the slightest misstep could cause fireworks or an eruption of tears (just ask my husband)

The Servant Stage

Today I am learning about the Servant Stage – this stage resides in the midst of the trails but actually praises God for the trials, accepting them as a part of His plan and knowing that He WILL use them for good. Nothing externally has changed – my “kingdom” is still not perfect and no solutions are even seen on the horizon but there is a new sense of surrender to God.

Perhaps this is what Job meant when he said in Job 13:15 – Though He slay me, yet I will trust in Him: but I will maintain mine own ways before Him.

For me, the servant stage is loving difficult people even while they are still difficult (versus waiting for them to be more lovable), trusting that God will provide (even when the bills seem to dwarf the income), and knowing that God has given me my husband and children and family to love (not change). It is not being so anxious about every little thing that happens – tires do go flat, airlines do lose luggage, and people do disappoint, but my hope is not in these things.
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This stage is the one that begins to move away from the focus on me – whereas the Princess and Martyr stages are all about me. The servant stage is ultimately more concerned with His kingdom than with mine. And even though I still revert to the other stages on a regular basis, I am learning to be more like the Servant He has called me to be.

Please pray with me:

Lord I confess to being a Princess and Martyr at times, and I ask Your forgiveness and thank You for Your patience with me and Your grace. Please continue to mold me into being more like Your Servant, with a heart for Your “kingdom” and a willingness to accept whatever path in life You have ordained for me to walk. Thank You Lord for the teaching me about the journey to Servanthood!
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{mosimage}Mary Tomlinson is President of On-Purpose Partners, a strategic business consulting, communications and personal coaching firm. She is a high energy motivator with a passion for encouraging individuals and implementing change with over 25 years experience in Marketing, Sales, Operations and Administration leadership positions and the last four years in her business consulting firm.

Mary enjoyed a corporate career track at the Walt Disney Company for 18 years – in Marketing and Business Operations as an executive. Her career included the positions of Director of Brand Marketing, Director of Resort Marketing and the Business Director for Disney’s internal advertising agency with an annual budget of $130 million managing 5000 projects annually. She also served as the Director of the Disney Institute, a 585-room resort facility offering over one hundred professional and personal enrichment programs. In this capacity she managed $65 million in annual revenue and a staff of 800.

Her passion is helping individuals and organizations clarify their purpose and meaning – finding and fulfilling each unique purpose for our lives and businesses and enjoying the adventure along the way!