By Pat Clardy
Flip-side…a woman after God’s own heart or The Heart of the Home…is like a divine nuclear power source of God’s love, mercy and grace…and like the human heart, she too provides her husband and her household with the life, oxygen, and nutrients that they need to function at their peak…all day, all night, and all the time. The heart of the home, never ceases…or stops pumping into the life of her husband, (the head) and her entire house…either life or strife, joy or sorrow, peace or war, patience or impatience, forgiveness or un-forgiveness, support or criticism, and either love or destruction.
When the heart of the home (the wife) stops sending life, and the love of God to the head…her husband will suffer from congestive brain failure., due to the lack of unconditional love, intimacy, encouragement, support, understanding, and most of all…he will experience a lack of confidence to be come the godly husband and leader of the home.
Therefore, the heart of the home (the wife), plays a major role, in her husband becoming all that God wants him to be, and her husband learning how to nourish her, protect her, cherish her, appreciate her, and taking the headship role in the home. Because just like in the natural…God created the human heart to govern the brain…well, in a godly marriage…God created the wife (the heart of the home)…to influence (motivate, inspire, stimulate, alter, change, to affect tendencies and characteristics) and to birth life into head of the home…because God designed a woman with incredible “influence power” to effect everything that is vital in her husbands life.
Change Me…
Well, once God taught me these life saving and marriage changing principles, (and I’m still learning) I was no longer intimidated by Eph 5:22 & 23, but most of all today I’m able to love, honor, and respect my husband as head of the home. I’m able to pray, God, change me to become the person you want me to be…change me to be a woman after your own heart…instead of “God, change Marvin.” And once I did that…I was able to see Marvin as a gift from God, even though he will still call me at work and ask me where the comet cleanser is, or tell me how to drive.
It’s all funny to me now, but I know it’s because God had to teach me how to understand my role as helper and help mate, so that I could respond to my husband with understanding and love, and so that I could support him, stand by him, encourage him, and make him feel valuable. I had to also learn…we weren’t built by God to be the head, and as much as we think we can…as wives…we cannot be the head and the heart of the home at the same time. God showed me that’s what causes heart attacks in a marriage. So, I had to learn that my definition of what the head of a household looks like was based more on my own selfish wants, and on what I could get, not what I could give. But God’s definition was based on the kind of character that only He can develop in a man’s heart.
The kind of character that provides his family with a loving, safe, and secure home. The kind of character that demonstrates to his children the importance of going to church, and living a Christian life. The kind of character that demonstrates to our daughter what a godly man looks like, and how a man should treat her… the kind of character that demonstrates to our son, how a godly man should behave, and treat his wife and children. The kind of character that allows me (who has trouble sitting still…and being still) to be all that God wants me to be without being threatened.
And finally, the kind of character that for the past 15 years has always been there to help me with my mother…and 5 years ago…the kind of character that let her come in and live with us…and allow her to take over our master bedroom, and He never complained. These are the kind of characteristics that make a man the head of his home, and the head of his wife.
The Best for Last…
So, heartbeat of the home, don’t wait for your husband to obey God. You start… and you do your part, because your husband is not going to look much like the head apart from you. So, take good care of your heart…and keep your heart healthy and free from the various spiritual heart diseases. (un-forgiveness, strife, bitterness).
The Heart Sets The Tone…
You become the change that you want to see in your husband, by making and becoming a woman after God’s own heart your top priority. Because your relationship with God, your intimacy with God, and your commitment with God, has a tremendous affect on your relationship with your husband. In other words, if you will become God’s woman first, you won’t have any trouble becoming the godly wife that God wants you to be.
Because when the HEART OF THE HOME submits to the ways of God, the will of God, and the word of God…she will become the godly wife that her husband desires, and she will birth and bring the life of God to her husband. And it’s because…you’re the “HEART OF THE HOME,” you set the tone, you set the mood, you set the pace, and you create the atmosphere, that God can use, to make an incredible difference in your husbands life. Therefore, hold on to God’s Word and His design for your marriage. Just be willing and obedient to do your part, and leave the results to God. Then both of you will be incredibly blessed, because by God’s grace you will give your husband the gift of a godly wife…and by God’s grace, he will be transformed into a “man after God’s own heart.”
Heart of the Home – Part I
Pat Clardy resides in Hazelwood, Missouri with her husband, Marvin of 30 years and two children Tana and Derek. She’s a member of Grace Church-St. Louis in Maryland Heights, Missouri. She serves God faithfully as a Division Leader and a Community Group Leader of 80 women. Her deepest desire is that God would completely possess her heart and make it His home.